![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Lagom
Fandom: ER
Characters: Doug Ross
Pairings: Doug/Carol
Words: 393
Rating: G
Summary: Doug is struggling to adjust to his new friendship with Carol in the wake of everything that happened.
Notes: Written for the![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_empire Monopoly challenge. Takes place in late season one or early season two.
It was difficult at first, trying to find the right balance. Doug almost dreaded starting his shift each day, knowing that as soon as he saw her in the hallways, that impossible balancing act would start again.
She needed space. And, after everything that he'd already done to ruin her life, he knew it was the least he could do in reparation. Yet they were still coworkers, still friends, which meant having to be in each other's space every day. It meant having to see her and realize all over again how badly he'd screwed up. He wanted to give her the space she needed, but he couldn't make himself pull away completely. He was trapped.
In some ways, it would have been so much easier if he could have walked away and never seen her again. Then she could simply fade into the rest of the regrets that haunted his nights. The pain wouldn't be as visceral that way.
If he was being honest with himself though — and he rarely was — it was a relief that working together in the same hospital removed the possibility of running away from it all. Because he didn't know what he would do without her. This tentative friendship between them was hard to manage, but it was better than losing her altogether.
So, balance.
Every shift was a game now. Walking that fine line between keeping a distance and being supportive. Respecting boundaries, but still offering companionship where it was allowed.
And, slowly but surely, a friendship began to grow. A real friendship. The kind that made it easier to get through the really bad days. The kind that offered understanding without the expectation of anything more. Doug couldn't help wondering sometimes, usually after a few too many drinks, if things would have gone differently between the two of them if they'd taken the time to cultivate this sort of friendship in the first place. As if he needed even more regrets to add to the pile.
Every shift was a balancing act, but he found it growing easier with time.
Space without separation. Boundaries without closing off completely.
Doug had never been very skilled at balancing anything. For once, though, he wasn't going to walk away from the challenge. Because having Carol Hathaway in his life, in whatever way he was allowed, was worth it.
Fandom: ER
Characters: Doug Ross
Pairings: Doug/Carol
Words: 393
Rating: G
Summary: Doug is struggling to adjust to his new friendship with Carol in the wake of everything that happened.
Notes: Written for the
fandom_empire Monopoly challenge. Takes place in late season one or early season two.It was difficult at first, trying to find the right balance. Doug almost dreaded starting his shift each day, knowing that as soon as he saw her in the hallways, that impossible balancing act would start again.
She needed space. And, after everything that he'd already done to ruin her life, he knew it was the least he could do in reparation. Yet they were still coworkers, still friends, which meant having to be in each other's space every day. It meant having to see her and realize all over again how badly he'd screwed up. He wanted to give her the space she needed, but he couldn't make himself pull away completely. He was trapped.
In some ways, it would have been so much easier if he could have walked away and never seen her again. Then she could simply fade into the rest of the regrets that haunted his nights. The pain wouldn't be as visceral that way.
If he was being honest with himself though — and he rarely was — it was a relief that working together in the same hospital removed the possibility of running away from it all. Because he didn't know what he would do without her. This tentative friendship between them was hard to manage, but it was better than losing her altogether.
So, balance.
Every shift was a game now. Walking that fine line between keeping a distance and being supportive. Respecting boundaries, but still offering companionship where it was allowed.
And, slowly but surely, a friendship began to grow. A real friendship. The kind that made it easier to get through the really bad days. The kind that offered understanding without the expectation of anything more. Doug couldn't help wondering sometimes, usually after a few too many drinks, if things would have gone differently between the two of them if they'd taken the time to cultivate this sort of friendship in the first place. As if he needed even more regrets to add to the pile.
Every shift was a balancing act, but he found it growing easier with time.
Space without separation. Boundaries without closing off completely.
Doug had never been very skilled at balancing anything. For once, though, he wasn't going to walk away from the challenge. Because having Carol Hathaway in his life, in whatever way he was allowed, was worth it.
